Sunday, January 24, 2010
one too many?
Ever wish you could freeze a moment in time? Right now my boys and my husband are my absolute life and there are moments throughout the day that Hudson will say something absolutely hilarious and grown up or where Brody will smile that new two front teeth grin with the big gap in between and I just wish I could freeze that moment and take it all in and never forget it. Brody is standing by himself all the time now and I am just waiting for him to realize that he can actually take steps from that position. He is going to have his first birthday a month from tuesday! Hudson is going to be going to preschool in seven months and that is unbelievable to me. He is so excited when he can spend the night at dama and papa's and he can articulate every single thought that he has. He is getting into watching movies together and I just knew this time would come but I never realized how fast. I feel like going from one child to two was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life but I also feel most victorious in it. Right now I am waivering back and forth on whether or not we want to have another child. I am by no means considering pregnancy at this time but I am the type of person who must plan ahead. Three? The thought of having three is overwhelming to me. I have this fear that if i have three children to get bundled up in these cold winters in NY that I will be a prisoner to my own home and never go anywhere because it would be that much harder. I would want to wait till Brody is more independent but not too long so that I completely have to start over with everything (now isnt that contradictory?) thats my struggle! I also want to work more eventually and when my children are in school, I will be able to do that. One more child will delay that but at the same time I just cant put that period at the end of our family. Andy, Tristyn, Hudson, Brody and...sounds so much better. I guess I will just have to get on my knees about that one :0) and soon! any opinions? I would love to hear!
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3 comments:
Oh Tristyn, I am so with you on just about everything you said here. I really, really struggle with this, also. For me, it's slightly different because I found the transition from one to two to be almost effortless. It was so natural and I couldn't believe how easy it was. That encourages me to do it again.
My family of 4 is incredible and if that's all God gave us, it would be more than enough. HOWEVER, as you said, I am NOT ready to be done. It just seems too final to me to say, "No more!" And think about it, these years are so fleeting. Having 3 kids running around together and growing up together will be so worth the effort and hard work that you put in.
Another thing that I really am afraid of is the financial aspect of 3 kids. We can provide for our 2 but 3 has got to be DAUNTING. I think of immediate needs such as clothing, diapers, etc...and I'm semi-okay but when I think of 3 allowances, 3 birthdays, and 3 kids to buy for on Christmas I am just shell shocked.
I, too, cringe at the thought of bunding up 3 kids in the winter. It's so hard with only 2! I also hate thinking of getting 3 kids in and out of the car. That's got to be my least favorite part of motherhood. Lol
This is SO much to think about and you said it best... Get on your knees! I've been doing the same and am willing to accept whatever size God has intended for our family! :-)
Sorry for writing a book!
dont apologize!!!! i love that book you wrote lol. To say the least, we will discuss it on wednesday :0) but i totally agree!
Ok so coming from Aunt Ashley I am all for having a niece b/c its just another one to love and spoil! hehe So go for it God will provide! You and Andy are such good parents why not share the love!!! :-) AUNT ASHLEY SAYS YES GO FOR IT!!!!HAHA
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