My #1 Job

My boss approached me and asked me if I could work more hours because our work load is so high. Money wise, it has definitely crossed my mind. But then I think about my boys and no amount of money is worth it. I  am trying really hard to make it work because maybe there is some sort of compromise and if there is, Im going to find it! He has always said that I can work from home but in the past I have found that to be a very difficult thing when kids need my attention or there is dishes or laundry to do.  Now, working from home seems like the best plan. My sister will be home in June so I will start taking on one more day a week at the office and then set up my "virtual office" for the rest of the time. It is what I have to do and at least I will be home with my boys. That is what is most important. The best part about it is that I can do my work whenever I want to: Naptime, evenings when Andy gets home, night...etc. The bad part is that I would need a new desktop to make this a reality since the desktop we have now is slower than molases!

In a way I am excited to work more and make some extra money. I just hope and pray that it will all work out with the boys. I never want to take them to a daycare center. Not that daycare centers are bad at all...in fact there are wonderful daycare centers out there...it's just not me. Hudson will be starting preschool this year too so this wont be for forever. Just until my boys get into school.  I thank the Lord that my job is needed and that my boss has offered this to me at a time when the economy is so bad. I am thankful 100% for that. I am just the type of person who has to have a schedule and a routine. Right now this plan sounds a little chaotic in my head and it is freaking me out a bit but hey...Rome wasnt built in a day, right?

Not So Sure...

I sit here typing and my baby boy is in his crib SCREAMING and CRYING. I hate it. Every little bit in me wants to just go grab him but I know it is not going to help him in the long run.  Up until lastnight he would go to bed fine by himself without a peep! Not so sure what is going on here but I am convinced it is just a stage. Lastnight after letting him cry for an hour (with small intervals where I would check on him and tell him that it is night night time) Andy went up and it must have broke his heart because down the stairs he came, baby in hand. I was relaxing on the couch and he placed Brody in my arms and he never opened his eyes again till morning! So precious. Somehow through all of this Hudson is sleeping soundly. We will get through it...but being a mommy is difficult at times. I really look forward to the time when he is two or three and can explain to me what is wrong!  On top of everything, Brody has a very strong-willed personality. He will NOT give up. It has been half an hour now...and he is still going strong!

Anyways on a happier note the weather is getting warmer as time goes on and I absolutely love it! We are already planning out some landscaping for the outside and flowers and screening in our back patio...I just love the warm weather and we just dont get enough of it in NY, thats for sure! And with the warm weather comes overtime for Andy as the college preps for graduation! It makes for long days for me but luckily its only for a month or so.

Ok...Im going to see what else I can do to pass time while he cries and cries...UGH! Please just give in Brody :0( You are tearing mommys heart out!!

One Year Old

My precious baby boy,
 It has already been a year since you entered into this world...where has the time gone? After long anticipating your arrival, you decided to surprise mommy and come three weeks early! I couldnt believe it when the Doctor sent us upstairs to the hospital to have you...I was so not prepared. But nonetheless, you were going to come and I had no idea how much love my heart could hold.  In the beginning we had some rough issues with jaundice and breastfeeding but a month passes and you were an old pro! I could tell right from the beginning that you were truly a mommy's boy...and there is nothing better. The moments we have shared are priceless. The moment you began smiling and saying dada and mama you just lit up our lives in so many ways!
The best part about it all is how much you love your big brother! There is nothing more precious than to see you two interact now that you are getting bigger. You scream when Hudson takes something from you and even though mommy may be in the other room, i know that distinct scream! lol. and of course I rescue you :0) Your brother is wonderful with you most of the time and I can see already that you are going to have a very close relationship. Your personality is something else! You are stubborn and funny and just so darn cute and you know it! You get away with more than your brother did and I just dont know why? You stand up on the couch and I say "sit down!" and you give me the most devious grin and stay standing and all I can do is laugh! Then of course after I laugh, I take the couch cushions off and put them on the floor so if you do fall, you wont get hurt.  What example is that setting??? Ugh! In some areas you have me wrapped around your finger! Ill admit it.  At the same time I realize we need to reign you in a bit :0) or you will give us a run for our money!!
I love you to pieces and you are now officially a toddler! I look forward to enjoying the next chapter of your life and I thank the Lord for sending you to me. There couldn't be a more perfect gift that he could have given me on February 26, 2009. Just as I am constantly reminding your brother, I will tell you everyday..."you're special and I love you"

Love always,
Mommy